A year ago on St. Patrick’s Day you made my dreams come true! Just a couple days before I couldn’t imagine that in a year I would be a mom, but here I am. And Loving every single bit of it.
A year ago I woke up with nothing more than a feeling that I should take a pregnancy test. No missed period (or so I thought), no nausea, no symptoms. Just an overwhelming feeling that I should. And since I had plenty didn’t seem any harm in what I assumed would be wasting them. And then I saw it the faintest of faintest second line. I didn’t quite believe my eyes so I tried to take a second one but I only got a single line on that one. So I stopped and picked up one of those digital pregnancy tests on my way home that day. Saving it for the next morning to try again. Sure enough there it was. A positive test, two of them!! I went to my doctor for a confirmation test and that was positive too!
I couldn’t wait for my husband to get home from work so I could share this with him. A text just wasn’t going to do it! So I set about trying to find the best way to tell him. Do I blurt it out, try to be clever, get cute? I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it from him so I went simple.
It was St. Patrick’s Day a quick trip to TJ Maxx and I found clover socks and a cute picture printed from Etsy and that was that.
I couldn’t imagine how just a year has changed my life. In my life I have gone through some crazy things in a year, but nothing has been as life changing as this. Just a couple short years ago I went from girlfriend, fiance to wife. That was a big change I know that sounds crazy to say because obviously motherhood is one of the biggest life changes that ever. But you just can’t fathom it until its happening even though this is something I have wanted for so long.
So here it is, a letter to you my baby on the one year anniversary I knew you were mine.
Dear Little One,
This is your momma and I love you more than you will ever know. I love you through every late night and early morning. I love you when all you want is me even when you deny me a break because of your refusal to take a bottle (even if I did work so hard to pump all that milk for you that will forever sit in my freezer now). And I would cuddle you forever if you would let me.
You are already showing me all your independence. You love playing and being active. You are so busy and you can’t even go anywhere yet. But I know that won’t last long. Our days are numbered for your stationary time. Then I will be exhausted while chasing you down for the rest of my life. But I will watch with joy as you find all the new things about this world we live in.
I look at you and see perfection. I had nine long months to prepare for you.To imagine what you would be like, look like, act life, sound like. And everything is more and better than I could ever imagine. Your first full laugh was the best thing I have ever heard. When you snuggle into my chest while nursing are such special moments that I will always treasure. Even your independence when you wiggle to free yourself from my arms because you area already so independent.
You just keep being your awesome little self and I will keep loving every sleepful and even sleepless moment with you. Because a year ago I had two pink lines (well more like 8, because I just couldn’t believe you were coming to me) but today my heart is more full than I could have ever imagined because I have you.
So St. Patrick’s Day may be considered a lucky day for the Irish. But I could never have dreamed I would get so lucky!