Finding Yourself Somewhere you Never Expected to be: Being a Stay at Home Wife

Finding yourself somewhere you never expected to be. For me that is being a stay at home wife!

Have you ever found yourself somewhere you never planned to be? That is me right now. I always envision myself being a stay at home mom, when the time came. My mom was home with us till I was in the 8th grade; and I loved it as a kid! But I never envisioned myself as a stay at home wife. I always envisioned myself working towards a career for a few years before I turned to being a SAHM. Yet, here I am! Master’s degree in hand, in a state I can’t get a license in (For full story check out this post!) So I am a stay at home wife.

I know what some people might say about this. Some will call me lazy, unmotivated, free loader, and probably some worse things. Some might even be jealous that I don’t have that extra stress, pressure, and responsibility of a job AND kids. But it’s ok! It’s not like I sit at home all day napping and binge watching Netflix. Ok, you caught me, Netflix is on, but I am most likely doing something productive at the same time. In some ways this has been challenging for me. I am not working towards a career at the same rate my friends are; working in their field, gaining experience, and making contacts. This is the first time since I was like 16 that I don’t have a job and earning my own money! Sometimes I might even be a little jealous of them. Here are some of the blessings I have received and lessons I have learned being in a place I never expected to be!

I had time to spend with my Hubby

If I was working on my career, I would probably still be in South Carolina, separated from my husband because he would still be here in Georgia no matter what I chose to do. I wouldn’t have made some of the best friends I’ve made. And even though I am not working towards my career or counseling license, I have had doors open to me in the Army as a service provider through the Chaplains. But the best blessing is that these months have given my hubby and I wonderful adventures and opportunities to connect. If I had stayed in South Carolina to work on my counseling license we would have ended up spending two years apart as we are now facing a yearlong unaccompanied assignment. It makes me even more grateful for the time we have had together over the last few months!

Growing my faith to a Mustard Seed

It has also given me the opportunity to grow in my relationship with God. If I was working full time I wouldn’t have the flexible schedule to attend a weekly Bible study, as stuff for military spouses only seem to take place during the day when people with full time traditional careers are in the office. This has been awesome for me! Not only to grow in my faith but I have made friends and come closer to others during my time here.

Growing my Community

I have had the opportunity to meet other Army wives and families; and I have had time to spend connecting with them. Some have become mentors and friends as I am learning to navigate the complexities and weirdness Army life. I’d be lost without them. Some ladies I’ve met that are here and work full time have told me they feel like they are missing out because they don’t have the time to make those relationships. Also they typically are not working in their field. I know I am blessed to have this luxury of staying home. So I have worked to make the most of it!

Blogging on my Blogging Progress

I have had the time to start and grow this blog. At first it was a way to fill my empty time. I never expected to get so into it. So much so that I’ve creates social media accounts (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, StumbleUpon, Bloglovin). I am intentional about writing and engaging with other bloggers in multiple different niches as I figure out and learn how to grow my own community. And it has definitely been incorporated into my Vision of Future for 2017. Adventures of a Young Wife has turned into more than I imagined and I am so excited to continue it as we go about our newest adventures.

Health has been a major focus

And finally it has given me the opportunity to work on my health physically. I am not perfect here by any means I mean just remember my hiking story (find it here). But having the ability to not have to get up and immediately crank it out before being at work at 8am or after I get off at 5pm. I can add it to my morning routine in a stress free way which makes me more likely to actually see it through. Even though sometimes puppy snuggles win out!

In the end…

But look at all these wonderful things! I could never have imagined this life. All though out college and grad school I never dreamed my life would take a path like this; but, I wouldn’t change a thing. And I get to do the one thing I love most, love my hubby in person for the next 7 months before he leaves and support him always. I know you don’t read my blog to just find out about my life, well some of you might, like my mom.

But I am hoping that by sharing my experiences with you that you can learn something too. For me, being a stay at home wife is a major shift in plans. I don’t know what that major shift for you is – maybe it’s getting married, having a baby, losing your job, or a loved one; whatever that unexpected life shift is for you remember that good things can come from it. If only you allow yourself to be open. I could have been sulky and sullen and stayed on my couch and I wouldn’t have gained anything but I worked hard and put myself out there! And I am so glad I did, and you will be too!

What unexpected situations have you found yourself in that turned out great?

My story of how I found myself somewhere I never expected to be. My life as a stay at home wife and how I made the best of the situation

51 thoughts on “Finding Yourself Somewhere you Never Expected to be: Being a Stay at Home Wife

  1. I loved reading this! I’d actually looked forward to becoming a stay at home wife (or at least someday, stay at home mom) but underestimated how hard that transition would be as a 27 year old used to making my own way! Appreciate your thoughts here. Bookmarking 😉

    1. Kay, I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom, once we have kids. But I am so used to having a job, this is the first year since I was 16 that I didn’t have my own job making my own money. It is definitely a challenge, but I have been infinitely rewarded!

  2. Love this! Being a SAHM seems to be quite fulfilling. It’s like you have more “ME” time and time to work on self instead of being consumed by the corporate work life routine.

    1. Victoria, Absolutely! While I always envisioned being a SAHM, I never really thought I would be home full time before we had kids! But I have been able to grow in so many ways!!

  3. The unexpected always seems to turn out right! A week before I was supposed to start a Computer Animation in college, it was canceled. I didn’t know what to do so I went to Spain to do some backpacking. From there, I met a guy, started spinning fire in the streets to busk for money, moved to Mexico, got hired for a circus show contract in Turkey, moved to Montreal to attend circus school, and now I write a blog when I’m not standing on my hands! Life throws curveballs, but if you go with them, it will turn out great!

    Thanks for sharing 🙂
    Nice article.

  4. Enjoy this time and have fun with your blog! If you decide to have kids, it will be a lot more difficult to focus on your blog so enjoy it! As long as you are happy with your choices, that’s all that matters 🙂

    1. Yes! With my husband leaving later this year I don’t think kids are in our future, but I am so excited to see how far this has come and how can I can take it!

  5. It also gives you the time to support other army families, Lord knows we would be lost without you!!! I understand completely though I’m on month 3 of not “working” and it’s an adjustment for sure

  6. I can so relate! Growing up I never once thought of being a stay-at-home-mom, blogging was unheard of. I never could have imagined the life I now have. But God is greater than our wildest dreams.

    1. Heather, I have always wanted to be a SAHM, my mom was home with us until I was in the 8th grade and I loved it, I definitely want to be able to do that too! But I just never pictured myself staying at home without and kids yet! But God sure did know what he was doing!

  7. Grace, it seems my life has been a long list of unexpected situations. I believe life is like that for many people. God has put us in places, with our unique experiences, so that we can give comfort to others who may find themselves in the same situations. Continue on your spiritual quest and you will find you have helped others…maybe even unknowingly.

  8. I didn’t think I would fare very well as a stay at home mom/wife when it happened, but it did give me more time to work with my kids and on myself. I have unlimited fasting time, and I can retreat to my “prayer closet” any time I need to. I found it a huge blessing when needs were arising in my kids and I realized I was already home to battle through with them. And my husband has been able to work hard knowing that the home front is covered.

  9. I never thought I would be a stay at home, homeschooling momma! It’s amazing how God prods us and then grows us faith with his calling.

  10. I say having a career is overrated and as long as you are financially sound, do what you love in life. You only get to live once. You can work all you want but in the end not enjoy any of it bc of your health. I am glad you are happy as a SAHW!

    1. I would love to work, but I don’t necessarily need to be paid. I have been volunteering as a counselor the months we have been here and I love every second of it! So fulfilling!

  11. As far back as I can remember, I dreamed of being a stay at home mom. Looking up to my mom as she cleaned and cooked and always looked great doing it. Everyone always called her the stepford wife! Now I still love being a stay at home mom but it is not as glamorous as I had once thought. I admire my mom so much more now that I realize all that she had to do to make it look so easy.

  12. Being a Stay at Home Mom was a surprise for me too, but it’s such a blessing! I do so much that I could never even consider, many of the same things you listed–Bible study, blogging, homeschooling, etc. It’s proof God has a better plan for our lives than we did.

    1. Absolutely! I have always wanted to be a SAHM, but when I started staying home now, I didn’t know what to do with no kids at home, but I have found plenty to do!

  13. I’ve secretly always wanted to be a SAHM, but we could never afford it. I’m sure if we gave up some of our luxury items and didn’t send the kids to private school, we could do it, but I love teaching and blogging about education. It has become a part of my life. If you are happy, then I wouldn’t worry or care about what anyone else has to say. Maybe you’ll make a full-time income from this blog and you’ll upgrade your status to work at home wife.

  14. Life is full of challenges and I’m sure many of us have found ourselves somewhere unexpected. How we handle these situations and what we learn from them is part of what shapes us into who we are. At the end of the day, as long as you are happy, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

  15. I believe that those unexpected moments are moments that are meant to be. It is His plan to put us where we will grow and prosper. It may not seem like it at the time but we need to learn to grow where we are planted. So happy to see that you learned how to do that i
    come see us at

  16. I definitely never planned on being a stay at home wife / working from home. I always pictured myself as having a career outside the home but when Joey came along, I knew I wanted to spend at least the first few years of his life at home and watch him grow. Never saw that coming though! haha

  17. Found you today through the Saturday Sit-Down.

    I stay home with our daughter now and it is so good for our family to have me at home during the day. The days are busy though, and I have very little time to myself. I often have a little friend sitting at my feet even when I need to go to the bathroom.

    This time is giving you such a unique opportunity to focus on yourself and explore your passions. Your degree with always be valuable and you can always pursue your career in a couple years or even later in life after you have children. You have the right mindset focusing on the good in this season.

  18. Before my husband and I got married almost 9 years ago I had a really great job but I knew marrying him meant giving that up because I would be moving across the country because he was already stationed in NC. I did work for a little while and I enjoyed but I realized that my time was better served staying home. I was able to get really involved with other spouses and volunteering with the FRG. It was the greatest decision I ever made, when my husband was in command I was able to be present for every function and be immersed in the experience. We just had our 1st child 6 months ago and I’m in the process of finishing up my Masters. I would love to go back to work as a counselor in the future but right now I’m happy being at home. 🙂

    1. Yes! I watched so many people want to be involved but couldn’t due to being at work during the day! I love that I am home and get to be involved when things are going on during the day! Congratulations on your baby so exciting and good luck on your masters!!

  19. I am finding myself in the opposite boat as you. 🙂 I stayed home for over 15 years to homeschool our 3 children and my youngest will attend high school next year. This summer I have the daunting task of creating a resume and figuring out what I want to do next to put my college education to good use. I am finally getting the freedom to pursue some of my own activities and dreams but I don’t actually know what those are yet!

    My husband has been very encouraging and I started my blog to help myself figure some of these things out. It is exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time.

    Thanks for the great post! I think people would be surprised at how many well-educated SAHW and SAHM there actually are in the world.

  20. I’m a SAHM and I also never imagined this is where I would be, I always wanted to be a “career woman” (in the typical sense) but find, like you said, I have time for other things that are also so important to me. My kinds and husband, my health, and my creative freedom with my blog! It’s funny how life throws things at you and all we can do is make the best choice given our circumstances. I think every major choice or decision has a sweet/sour side. It’s really about doing what makes sense for you!

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